Author: qjoq.com

I’ve always wanted to join a band, but my girlfriend said I wouldn’t because I play the silliest instrument. So I took my electric triangle and went elsewhere.

I was having an argument with my wife and in pure anger I threw one of her most expensive belongings, a vase, onto the ground. She said, “Two can play at that game, you know.” So I handed her another vase.

Lamb Shanks? Is that how they protect themselves against Welsh farmers?

If I had a pound for every time someone called me stupid, I’d have 2.50

I made a mint at the bookies today. I stuck 3 pieces of Polo together to waste time before I went home to tell the wife I’d lost our house on the first race.