Author: qjoq.com

I remember as a kid I got Chlamydia, Pneumonia and Syphilis. Needless to say, I came last at the Spelling Bee.

I was walking through town the other day when I saw a huge spray painted message on a wall saying: “What force keeps all people and objects attracted to earth?” It’s graffiti.

On my last week as an environmental health officer I shut down seventeen restaurants. I needed some closure.

A man walked up to me and said ‘I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam’ I said ‘relax, you’re two tents’.

I was dancing next to a bird who had bad BO in a club when I whispered in her ear, “Hygiene.” She said, “My name’s not Gene; it’s Sue” I said, “Oh, hi, Sue… You need a bath.”

Did you hear about the clown with Diarrhoea? He kept making funny faeces….

Magners Cider makes me feel really good “There’s Methadone in the Magners”