I wanted to make a joke a …
I wanted to make a joke about font, but I’m not bold enough.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I just took a pound into …
I just took a pound into Poundstretchers I came out with a Pooouuund
Continue ReadingI shaved a hedgehog earli …
I shaved a hedgehog earlier. It was pointless.
Continue ReadingI’ve been making a perfum …
I’ve been making a perfume laced with methamphetamine. Speed is of the essence.
Continue ReadingI was really enjoying my …
I was really enjoying my busman’s holiday in Edinburgh today, beautiful scenery and a lovely day. Well at least I was … Until those 3 old dears screamed to go back to my bus route in Grimsby.
Continue ReadingI hit an elderly lady wit …
I hit an elderly lady with a tennis ball earlier. I warned her what would happen if she kept refusing to give it back.
Continue ReadingI hate my job as a fish m …
I hate my job as a fish monger. The plaice stinks.
Continue ReadingBooed BB Nadia in suicide …
Booed BB Nadia in suicide bid. can i stick 10 on that then please.
Continue ReadingIf it wasn’t for the like …
If it wasn’t for the likes of my grandad, we’d all be talking German now! He really was a terrible Language Teacher.
Continue ReadingI’ve finally got a date f …
I’ve finally got a date for my wedding. Hope my bride is up for a threesome.
Continue ReadingI went to an audition for …
I went to an audition for a cameo part in a film when the director said, “I like you but can you cut your hair?” I replied, “Yes I can, but it’s usually better if someone else does it.”
Continue ReadingSit-coms are for comedian …
Sit-coms are for comedians who are too lazy to standup.
Continue ReadingI named my dumbells Sains …
I named my dumbells Sainsburys and Morrisons. I’m a shoplifter
Continue ReadingI got on a train in Spain …
I got on a train in Spain and saw a bunch of footballers standing around It must have been Rail Madrid
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend was fitted …
My girlfriend was fitted with the coil as a contraceptive measure. It doesn’t seem to have worked though. She’s expecting a baby in the spring.
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