I ex celled myself when I …
I ex celled myself when I broke out of prison.
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So American company Kraft …
So American company Kraft have bought Cadburys? It was reported that they based this decision on the popular TV adverts Cadburys produce. Although Kraft did think they were buying drum playing gorillas…
Continue ReadingIn the long run, fat peop …
In the long run, fat people always lose.
Continue ReadingKnowing the facts takes a …
Knowing the facts takes all the fun out of making decisions.
Continue ReadingMy wife hates it when I s …
My wife hates it when I sit down to have a wee. Particularly in supermarkets.
Continue ReadingI try to let my wife run …
I try to let my wife run things at home. Like the dishwasher, hoover and lawnmower.
Continue ReadingHow do you brainwash a ci …
How do you brainwash a citrus fruit? Sublemonal messaging
Continue ReadingThe other day, my mate to …
The other day, my mate told me that joke: “How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? Doritos!” I thought: “Great, now how am I supposed to eat doritos and salsa again without feeling slightly aroused?!”
Continue ReadingI just lost my mood ring. …
I just lost my mood ring. I’m not sure how to feel about it.
Continue ReadingI made the mistake of buy …
I made the mistake of buying a running machine the other day…. Haven’t seen it since.
Continue ReadingWhere do South African ru …
Where do South African rugby players keep their Slinkys? The Spring Box.
Continue ReadingAs you get older, the bir …
As you get older, the birthday cards you receive get meaner. The closer the person is to you, it seems the meaner they are. Last year I got a card with a rotting corpse on the front and inside it read, ‘At least you can still attract flies. Lots of love, mum.’
Continue ReadingI wonder what the Cambrid …
I wonder what the Cambridge University Netball Team shorten their name to.
Continue ReadingI was asked today if I su …
I was asked today if I supported GM food. I said, “not really,” as I think they should stick to making cars.
Continue ReadingMy mate designs golf gear …
My mate designs golf gear and I design tennis equipment. He says his job is harder than mine but it’s hardly racquet science.
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