I would learn to play gui …
I would learn to play guitar, but there are too many strings attached.
Continue ReadingI would learn to play guitar, but there are too many strings attached.
Continue ReadingI lend people money if they agree to be my friend. I’m a bit of a loaner.
Continue ReadingI have spent the last few days in Amersham, a town in Buckinghamshire and had a great time. It’s just like Amsterdam, only with less STDs.
Continue ReadingDon’t forget that the clocks go forward continuously.
Continue ReadingIt was only when I woke up inside a coffin under 6ft of soil that I realised I was in grave danger.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me he’s been beating up sea fish….. sounds like cods-wallop to me
Continue ReadingI’ve been spending too much time on the computer and I think there’s a chance the constant slouching could lead to back pain. But ah well, it’s just a hunch.
Continue ReadingPeople who don’t smile into mirrors are generally frowned upon.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a new job selling mansized Kleenex on the high street. The sales pitch is easy. “Big Tissue!”
Continue ReadingSeeing as it’s Comic Relief tonight, i thought i’d do something for money. I’m going to work.
Continue ReadingA naked man told me I’m going to die tomorrow It was a stark warning
Continue ReadingI have successfully made a group of lemurs brain-damaged. The plot thickens.
Continue ReadingI was looking at my wife naked the other day when I thought “why am I naked?”
Continue ReadingLittle Johnny turns to his mum an says: “When you found out you were pregnant what did you want me to be?” “Stillborn”
Continue ReadingBlind drawing, I can’t see myself doing it.
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