Skinny jeans – XXL, oh th …
Skinny jeans – XXL, oh the irony
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Two snakes are in the mid …
Two snakes are in the middle of a forest. The first one says “Hey are we poisonous?” The second snake says “I dont know, why?” “I just bit my tongue.”
Continue ReadingWere you aware that eukar …
Were you aware that eukaryotic cells (with a true nucleus) have flagella, whereas prokaryotic cells (without a true nucleus) have the same flagella, but for some reason, they are referred to as undulipodia? Biological terminology just keeps getting cillia…
Continue ReadingFinally got head off the …
Finally got head off the wife yesterday. I knew one swing of the axe would do it.
Continue ReadingWho’s that gorgeous girl? …
Who’s that gorgeous girl? — Her? She changes her boyfriend almost every day! Oh! Gets around a bit, does she? — No. He’s incontinent.
Continue ReadingMy wife has attempted sui …
My wife has attempted suicide three times this year. She’s just not getting the hang of it.
Continue ReadingMy boss fired me for comp …
My boss fired me for complaining about the office escalator, It didn’t go down well.
Continue ReadingA girl came into the libr …
A girl came into the library and asked for the new ‘Twilight’ book, I nearly threw a good book at her, but I didn’t want to catch’er in the eye.
Continue ReadingI always struggle to put …
I always struggle to put into words how articulate I am.
Continue ReadingSickipedia Stand-up Comed …
Sickipedia Stand-up Comedy Night – do YOU want to do 5 months in intensive care, under 24/7 Police guard ? Get in touch ASAP.
Continue Reading“I am woman, hear me roar …
“I am woman, hear me roar!” “Yes darling, your new vacuum cleaner is lovely.”
Continue ReadingI just noticed people joi …
I just noticed people joining the “i shouldn’t be aloud a phone when im drunk!” group on Facebook… Well I don’t think they should be ALLOWED to make a group unless they can spell properly
Continue ReadingAdvice for enterprising t …
Advice for enterprising tramps and homeless. Invest in a card swipe machine for those awkward occasions when your target ‘doesn’t have any change’ on them.
Continue ReadingOCD sufferers. Their days …
OCD sufferers. Their days are numbered.
Continue ReadingAt the last election, I v …
At the last election, I voted BNP by mistake when I really wanted to vote for the Liberal Democrats. I really am useless, I can’t tell my left from my right.
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