A man was beaten to death …
A man was beaten to death by rival gang members after taking a wrong turn. It was a nasty way to go.
Continue ReadingA man was beaten to death by rival gang members after taking a wrong turn. It was a nasty way to go.
Continue ReadingI hate it when I’m watching TV and the program gets interupted by 30 seconds of a program being shown on another channel. For example, I was watching Comic Relief the other night, but every so often a bit of Crimewatch kept appearing.
Continue ReadingI popped down to my local for ‘Happy Hour’. The other 23 are spent with my wife.
Continue ReadingI’ve been a captain in the army for ten years now and simply refuse to get promoted further. They say I’ve got major issues.
Continue ReadingMy son and daughter were arguing over who’s turn it was to play with the spirograph, but it was going nowhere. They just kept going round in circles.
Continue ReadingFollowing an announcement that Manchester will be bringing in a congestion charge, Liverpool has announced an extension to its own scheme to deter cars from outside Liverpool from entering the city. Whereas Manchester and London’s respective schemes are administered by Metropolitan authorities and link charge payments to improvements in public transport, the Liverpool scheme is […]
Continue ReadingI lost control of the car earlier and ploughed into two people polishing their car. I think I’ve really hit the buffers this time.
Continue ReadingI went to check out the specials at asda today. I found them pushing trolleys in the car park.
Continue ReadingWent shopping with my wife to ikea at the weekend. Soon after entering i saw a woman staring at me, she kept winking and smiling at me, and as soon as my wife went off to look at kitchen fittings, she came up to me. Seductively she asked “Monogomy is not for everyone” I replied […]
Continue ReadingThere were problems when my baby son was delivered, We were out so they took him round the neighbours, we had to wait all day to collect him.
Continue ReadingSometimes when I’m bored, I like to stand empty pizza boxes upright in a line and knock them over, like they’re Dominos.
Continue ReadingNothing measures up to my ruler.
Continue ReadingI went to the doctors about an almond I have growing between my nipples. He said ” ahhh that old chest nut “.
Continue ReadingMy doctor told me to quit my helium addiction before I got carried away.
Continue ReadingI was driving along the motorway, when a pungent, peculiar smell began to emanate from underneath my hood. Obviously worried, I pulled over onto the hard shoulder to investigate. Yep. Sure enough, yeast infection.
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