I woke up and felt horrid …
I woke up and felt horrid this morning. My wife hates it when I call her that.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I work at an accountants, …
I work at an accountants, and to be honest I’m not very good at it. I’m just making up the numbers.
Continue ReadingFlies spread disease. So …
Flies spread disease. So keep yours zipped up.
Continue ReadingThere’s this bloke at wor …
There’s this bloke at work who is constantly abusive to all my colleagues and act’s like he’s 10 men. I work in a psychiatric unit.
Continue ReadingMy wife always makes sure …
My wife always makes sure the table is cleared before dinner is served at seven. If she didn’t play as much pool, maybe I would be eating by six.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s dog just came r …
My wife’s dog just came running past with one of my slippers. God knows how he keeps a size 10 on that little paw of his.
Continue ReadingHow ironic. The moment a …
How ironic. The moment a girl says “do wathever you want to me” is the exact same moment she makes the only thing I want impossible to do. Rape her.
Continue ReadingFarmville has a new addit …
Farmville has a new addition. “(user) has found some fuel to share” with a nice cartoon of a white lady giving fuel to a black man… Yes…share…im sure
Continue ReadingI stopped smoking after I …
I stopped smoking after I found out it could seriously harm my baby. I’m not letting anything hurt my PS3.
Continue ReadingWhy are men with pierced …
Why are men with pierced ears more suited to marriage? Because they have already experienced pain and bought jewellery.
Continue ReadingAfter a particularly vigo …
After a particularly vigorous Physical session with his daughter, Josef Fritzel, panting and exhausted exclaimed to Elizabeth “Whew! Good job, Shall we call it a day?” She responded “i dont know, there’s no windows in here”
Continue ReadingTook my dog to the vets t …
Took my dog to the vets this morning and he told me it’s in heat. I didn’t even realise it was a celebrity.
Continue ReadingA disturbing new study fo …
A disturbing new study founds that studies are disturbing.
Continue ReadingI did a tour of a cheese …
I did a tour of a cheese factory in Holland last week. Apparently Edam is made backwards.
Continue ReadingI always make sure that I …
I always make sure that I won’t scald myself in the bath by dipping a baby’s elbow in beforehand.
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