I wanted to go on the Leg …
I wanted to go on the Lego website but the site was blocked.
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BBC news: England team gi …
BBC news: England team given Delhi go-ahead Thats nice, feeding them.
Continue ReadingI went down on my missus …
I went down on my missus last night and I’ve had a hair stuck in my teeth all day. I finally got it out during the lunch break at work and we’ve decided to keep it as the office pet.
Continue ReadingWhat do we want? To be pr …
What do we want? To be precise! When do we want it? Half past seven, tomorrow night at Grimsby Tesco car park. Wear a red jumper and some jeans. Bring a packed lunch because there’s going to be some team building exercises.
Continue ReadingFat People: They’ve had m …
Fat People: They’ve had more hot meals than I’ve had hot meals.
Continue ReadingI just took a photo of my …
I just took a photo of my mate doing an El Hadji Diouf impression. It was a spitting image.
Continue ReadingI can’t stop thinking abo …
I can’t stop thinking about prisons…. My mind works in Strangeways.
Continue ReadingThe juices of creativity …
The juices of creativity are flowing…I would clean it up but Mum will be home soon anyway
Continue ReadingEvery morning I have a 2 …
Every morning I have a 2 mile run before breakfast. I keep forgetting to buy milk.
Continue ReadingIn Tesco tonight my shopp …
In Tesco tonight my shopping was bagged up by a family of talking mice. They’re right – every Little helps.
Continue Readingpunctuation who needs it …
punctuation who needs it
Continue ReadingKindle. For those times …
Kindle. For those times when turning a thin piece of paper is just asking too much.
Continue ReadingAfter looking for a porta …
After looking for a portable shelter in Spain, I eventually found the right one. I’m finally content!
Continue ReadingIf they don’t find the Hi …
If they don’t find the Higgs Boson soon I don’t know how I am going to hold myself together.
Continue ReadingI went to Billy Haley’s C …
I went to Billy Haley’s Chip shop the other night. “I said what fish have you got”. He said we’ve got “Skate, Haddock and Sole”.
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