A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking tramp who asked him for a couple of pounds for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two quid and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whisky?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the tramp said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?”
“Are you MAD? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Well, I’m not going to give you two quid. Instead, I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The tramp was astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
The man replied, “Hey, man, that’s OK! I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf!”