You know the old saying, …
You know the old saying, ‘You break it, you buy it’? What if it’s in the alcohol section and you’re underage?
Continue ReadingYou know the old saying, ‘You break it, you buy it’? What if it’s in the alcohol section and you’re underage?
Continue ReadingI’ve been accused of being ‘all mouth, no trousers’. Well, the actual charges are for ‘causing a disturbance & indecent exposure on a bus’.
Continue ReadingI’ve had to stop free entry to my club for people with crabs… They were just itching to get in.
Continue ReadingMy mum always said, “Go to school on an egg.” I don’t know why she just didn’t buy me a bike.
Continue ReadingWhen horses get really hungry do they try and keep their distance from each other?
Continue ReadingBetter the devil you know than the devil who makes you guess his name.
Continue ReadingI don’t get along with my colleagues at simultaneous reading club. We’re just not on the same page.
Continue Readinggive a man a fish and he will eat for a day give a man my wife for the night and he will smell like one forever
Continue ReadingI firmly believe in the saying – ‘girls spit, women swallow.’ Therefore, if they’re under 16 and swallow, does that clear me of paedophilia?
Continue ReadingI have just taken a leaf out of my dads book… Quite funny ’cause I think he was using it to remember his page.
Continue ReadingI’m thinking of taking my relationship with my girlfriend to the next level. You know, ‘tying the knot’. I’m just not sure if we’re ready for S&M yet, though.
Continue ReadingMy Sister said to me, “Blood is thicker than water”. I think she severely underestimates the problems I have with limescale.
Continue ReadingTwo hippy girls talking and one asks “Have you ever gone cold turkey?” The other one replies, “No, but once I got desperate and used a chicken leg”
Continue Reading‘A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.’ Well I’m missing one so how will this play out…
Continue ReadingMy wife hasn’t said a word since getting attacked at the zoo. I think the cat must have her tongue.
Continue Reading