Our local Age Concern sho …
Our local Age Concern shop had it’s shutters down today. I wonder if they were busy making Soylent Green…
Continue ReadingOur local Age Concern shop had it’s shutters down today. I wonder if they were busy making Soylent Green…
Continue ReadingI don’t understand why the Crossbow Cannibal left over so many body parts of his victims! Maybe he’d bitten off more than he could chew !
Continue ReadingI saw a Department of Health poster in the waiting room at the doctor’s today. It showed two sunburnt children on a beach with the caption, “Kids Cook Quick”. Nonsense. In my experience they take about 25 minutes per pound.
Continue ReadingLet’s eat Grandpa! Let’s eat, Grandpa! Commas, save lives.
Continue ReadingI’ve just opened a Cannibal themed restaurant. We would love to have you for dinner.
Continue ReadingA cannibal returned from a holiday missing a leg. “What happened?” asked his friend. “It was self catering.” he replied.
Continue ReadingJust overheard my colleague say to another colleague “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bite your head off”. It’s hardly something you do by accident, is it?
Continue ReadingAs a cannibal, I often find the term ‘baby food’ very misleading.
Continue ReadingI was sat with a tribe of cannibals when the chief’s daughter gave me the eye. I would have preferred a leg.
Continue ReadingI always give my dog leftover bones from my dinner for him to chew on. As well as being a tasty snack, it also removes any last bit of DNA from the person they came from.
Continue ReadingI didn’t know what to make of the salesman who called to my door earlier. So I went for an old favourite. With fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Officials seek ways to double the number of tigers in the world. Just cut them in half.
Continue ReadingI managed to convince my best mate to let me spit-roast his wife last night. Unfortunately she was too much for us to eat in one sitting, but at least his children will have something in their pack lunch tomorrow.
Continue ReadingReuters: “British surgeons separate very rare conjoined twins”. I prefer mine well done.
Continue ReadingIt was when I made sausages on my work experience, that I vowed never again to work in a cannibal’s butchers shop. What a way to make ends meat.
Continue Reading