New film release about a …
New film release about a girl who goes topless in the back yard. It’s called ‘Flash Garden’
Continue ReadingI love the look on people …
I love the look on people’s faces, standing soaked in the rain at the bus stop as I drive past. It’s partly why I became a bus driver.
Continue ReadingSomeone asked me the othe …
Someone asked me the other day if I thought dogs go to heaven. My thought was if you can lick yourself you’re already there.
Continue ReadingWhen I found out that all …
When I found out that all the fish at my holiday home in Florida were being eaten by a heron, I got the phone number of a local hunter and organised for him to kill it. Just before I hung up the phone I said to him, “I’m a bit worried that I can’t track […]
Continue ReadingMy neighbor is blind, and …
My neighbor is blind, and talking to him not so long ago he told me that every now and again he receives cheques for his disability benefits through the post He told me that as standard practice an envelope containing a cheque addressed to a blind person contains a piece of kitchen role, so the […]
Continue ReadingI sank ten pints of lovel …
I sank ten pints of lovely Rocky Mountain Beer, and when I stumbled in, my wife said, “Have you been drinking? Your breath stinks!” I smiled, and replied, “Yes, of Coors.”
Continue ReadingI like Huey better than D …
I like Huey better than Dewey or Louie. He’s just the more colourful character.
Continue ReadingWhat’s all this fuss abou …
What’s all this fuss about 3D TV all of a sudden? My TV’s always been 3-dimensional.
Continue ReadingWho exactly are ‘Mates’ c …
Who exactly are ‘Mates’ condoms aimed at?
Continue Reading“Explosion At Hospital Tr …
“Explosion At Hospital Treating Bomb Victims” If that doesn’t scream Irony then I don’t know what does
Continue ReadingTwo of my favourite words …
Two of my favourite words are ‘innuendos’ & ‘euphamisms’. I like to get my mouth round big ones.
Continue ReadingStubbed my toe at midnigh …
Stubbed my toe at midnight last night, started off 2012 on a bad foot
Continue ReadingI missed my bus this morn …
I missed my bus this morning. I really shouldn’t get so sentimental about public transport.
Continue ReadingWhen it comes to fighting …
When it comes to fighting, my friends say I’m like quantum reality. I collapse as soon as someone looks at me
Continue ReadingDo you think Roadrunner w …
Do you think Roadrunner would have been so elusive if ACME had built IEDs?
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