Just walked into a librar …
Just walked into a library and asked for a book on impotence. Nothing happens in the end.
Continue ReadingI prefer Friends to My Fa …
I prefer Friends to My Family…so that’s why I got kicked out of the house.
Continue ReadingI just got a Samsung Gala …
I just got a Samsung Galaxy. So much smoother than the LG Chocolate.
Continue ReadingThere’s something I don’t …
There’s something I don’t like about using touch screen technology I just can’t put my finger on it.
Continue ReadingA couple of Irish builder …
A couple of Irish builders have recently moved in next door to me and all I ever hear them say is “Wheelbarrow this” and “wheelbarrow that”,. I wouldn’t normally mind, but the last time I lent a pikey something he never gave it back.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a bloke sp …
I’ve just seen a bloke spray painting a blond haired male reporter and a little white dog on the front of his car. I think he was Tin-Tin his windows.
Continue ReadingAs long as my boss wants …
As long as my boss wants to pretend that I get paid well, I’ll keep pretending to work.
Continue ReadingI was watching Sky Sports …
I was watching Sky Sports today. Them paragliders were very good.
Continue ReadingI was completely leathere …
I was completely leathered last night. I take motorcycle safety very serious.
Continue ReadingIn my chosen career, I ge …
In my chosen career, I get to travel a lot. It sounds a lot better than saying its quite a walk to the job centre from my house.
Continue ReadingBecoming notorious gangst …
Becoming notorious gangsters in London during the 1950s and 60s was the thing to do. Back then it just happened to be the craze.
Continue ReadingI just gave my neighbour …
I just gave my neighbour a piggyback. Although I’m not even sure why I stole it from him in the first place.
Continue ReadingOnce you’ve gone black yo …
Once you’ve gone black you never go back! Well that’s house fires for you!!!
Continue ReadingI asked the chef, “Can I …
I asked the chef, “Can I have more onion?” He said “No, that’s shallot”
Continue ReadingMy friends planning on te …
My friends planning on teaching all crabs a new unique way to walk now that would be a step forward.
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