I was reading the newspaper today when I said to the missus, “It says here that some bloke made a cow swallow some high explosives.” She said, “That’s abominable!” I replied, “No love. It was a bomb in a cow actually.”
Continue ReadingI finally understand the ending of the movie “The Sixth Sense” Those were the names of the people who worked on the movie.
Continue ReadingI got caught sunbathing in work today. Boy is my face red.
Continue ReadingIf you want to help with the restoration of the church…. Give us a bell.
Continue ReadingI’m glad that all of these naked pictures are being posted on facebook. It means that I don’t have to keep deleting my internet history before my girlfriend comes home.
Continue ReadingIf anyone ever tells you they’ve lost their voice, They’re lying.
Continue ReadingI went to a casino last night and was stood next to guy playing Blackjack that kept having win after win after win. I couldn’t believe this guys luck but realised he was stood on a what looked like a bit of bread. I asked him. ” Mate, your doing really well but what’s that […]
Continue ReadingI like nothing more than a freshly baked loaf, straight out of the oven. Mmm, …you just can’t put a price on that. The sticker falls off.
Continue ReadingThis week, I’ve been avoiding clich’s like the plague!
Continue ReadingAnimal rights activists never do more than one thing at a time. They don’t want to kill two birds with one stone.
Continue ReadingWhen we were kids we used to make our own entertainment. Spitting off bridges was my favourite game. We called it ”Catarrh Hero.”
Continue ReadingI was chatting up a girl and told her that I had a power station in my pants. She was very impressed until I showed her what it had done to my genitals
Continue ReadingIrony – Attempting to purchase tobacco with healthy living coupons.
Continue ReadingEvery conversation with a narcoleptic is a potential bedtime story.
Continue ReadingAl Qaeda bombs have been found at a saloon, a cattle ranch, and Clint Eastwoods house. Apparently its an attack on the western world
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