Saw some Ginger siamese t …
Saw some Ginger siamese twins today and funny I thought they both looked a bit like Raoul Moat Then I couldn’t help but think to myself that 2 heads are better than none.
Continue ReadingI love being an Indian Co …
I love being an Indian Cobra! I live a charmed life.
Continue ReadingI accidentally ran over a …
I accidentally ran over a baby the other day. Which means legally, I can take it home for lunch.
Continue ReadingPeople have always told m …
People have always told me that I shouldn’t make sweeping statements but.. I find it easier to tilt the dustpan when sweeping up, if you tilt the pan back just in time, you’ll catch all the dust.
Continue Reading“Bring your child to work …
“Bring your child to work” day is rather awkward here at the abortion clinic.
Continue ReadingI spent hours studying th …
I spent hours studying the pyramids today. I’ve concluded they’re much nicer than the round tea bags.
Continue ReadingI walked home with a skip …
I walked home with a skip in my step today. Accidentally stood on a packet of crisps.
Continue ReadingOne of my favourite thing …
One of my favourite things to do is to try and pack myself into a small suitcase. I can barely contain myself.
Continue ReadingThe problem with the Inte …
The problem with the Internet is that I’m becoming hardened to acts of extreme violence. Yesterday whilst out shopping I got an erection watching a tramp being beaten up.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to take the …
I’ve decided to take the day off today. I’m just going to call it to.
Continue ReadingThe next greatest trick t …
The next greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist, blindfold!
Continue ReadingTwo men made 250m in a ye …
Two men made 250m in a year by making sperm available over the internet. Fantastic, I’d like to try that. How do you upload it from a keyboard?
Continue ReadingIt’s 1:05am. Only 5 minut …
It’s 1:05am. Only 5 minutes ago until the clocks go back.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the best thing to …
What’s the best thing to come out of Coventry? The A45
Continue ReadingLemons. They’re sublime. …
Lemons. They’re sublime.
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