Cows should be seen and n …
Cows should be seen and not herd.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about BT’s n …
Did you hear about BT’s new invention? Speed dole
Continue ReadingJordan and her myopic chi …
Jordan and her myopic chimp-son Harvey stayed at my guest house last year. I had no choice but to put the Prices up.
Continue ReadingMy boss rang me this morn …
My boss rang me this morning. “You’ve got a meeting in five minutes,” he said. “We need you to make this. Where are you?” I said, “On the way to my car as we speak.” “Right,” he said. “Do you think you’ll make it?” I said, “Probably, it’s only a few feet away.”
Continue ReadingJust been doing an online …
Just been doing an online jobsearch and seen a job for male escort. I’ve emailed them asking to send over a nympho pack.
Continue ReadingGetting poked on facebook …
Getting poked on facebook seems to be the only physical contact I get lately.
Continue ReadingI just went to change som …
I just went to change some pounds into dollars at the bank and they gave me an IOU.
Continue ReadingI was so excited when I f …
I was so excited when I found a fiver in my bed this morning. But this excitement turned to despair when I checked my teeth.
Continue ReadingMy wife had her driving t …
My wife had her driving test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other two guys jumped clear.
Continue ReadingThree twins walk into a b …
Three twins walk into a bar. Hang on…
Continue ReadingA recent survey of women …
A recent survey of women who read 50 Shades Of Gray. Most read it with their fingers
Continue ReadingAutumn is very much like …
Autumn is very much like a dirty university lecturer. Feeling a little Fresher!
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between this joke and all my others? There isn’t one, this is still going to get into the negatives.
Continue ReadingI got into an argument wi …
I got into an argument with a DJ tonight but I couldn’t win. He just kept changing his tune.
Continue ReadingI took a trip to the Blac …
I took a trip to the Black Sea recently and it was awful, what a waste of money. Now I finally understand the phrase “Once you go Black, you never go back.”
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