I like work. It fascinate …
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Continue ReadingMy wife just sent me a me …
My wife just sent me a message on facebook saying I was two-faced. I was so annoyed, I give her a right earful, then logged into my other account and backed myself up.
Continue ReadingI hated it in prison, I u …
I hated it in prison, I used to get beaten everyday. Turns out I’m rubbish at Playstation games.
Continue ReadingI always feel awkward whe …
I always feel awkward when I wear a blue and yellow T-shirt in Ikea.
Continue ReadingThe new girl at work slap …
The new girl at work slapped me today because I asked if she spits or swallows. It seemed like a reasonable question considering we work as wine tasters.
Continue ReadingI was really happy after …
I was really happy after a meeting at work today when I was elected chairman. Then I realised everyone had voted for me to put all the chairs away.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend left me bec …
My girlfriend left me because I decided to become a Taxidermist. Stuff her.
Continue ReadingI finally got Angry Birds …
I finally got Angry Birds on my phone. I filmed my two sisters arguing over a Barbie doll.
Continue ReadingFor whom the bell tolls? …
For whom the bell tolls? For the person with the belt.
Continue ReadingI was sitting in the dent …
I was sitting in the dentists.chair today. “Open up for me please” he said. So I told him I was abused as a child, my dad was an alcoholic……..
Continue ReadingDrink driving is likely t …
Drink driving is likely to make you car less.
Continue ReadingDid you hear what happene …
Did you hear what happened to our headmaster at deaf school? Neither did I.
Continue ReadingJohnny’s dad and his Math …
Johnny’s dad and his Maths teacher are talking at the parent-teacher conference. Teacher: “I think Johnny needs to get some help at home. Especially with his Maths”. Parent: “Well that makes six of us”.
Continue ReadingGermany is marking the 20 …
Germany is marking the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Well its just a dissident memory now..
Continue ReadingThis young girl goes to t …
This young girl goes to the doctor’s. The doctor put a stethoscope on her chest and says, “Nice big breaths.” And the girl says, “Yeth, and I’m only twelve.”
Continue Reading