A little part of me died …
A little part of me died when I got castrated.
Continue ReadingA guy with big fingers an …
A guy with big fingers and thumbs won at poker last night. He had such a great hand.
Continue ReadingMy friend called me last …
My friend called me last night panicking, he had just completed a powerpoint presentation. Despite the content being fine, he felt the presentation of it was bland and lifeless. I told him to look at the fonts and maybe something will inspire him. He called me four hours later, still panicking, telling me, he had […]
Continue ReadingI hate when I go to unins …
I hate when I go to uninstall some program, and then they want me to fill out a survey telling them why. Like I just broke up with them and they need closure. “No no, Yahoo Toolbar. It’s not you, it’s me. Please stop crying.”
Continue Reading“You don’t seem the kind …
“You don’t seem the kind of person who likes christmas puns” said my friend yule be suprised
Continue ReadingI started a parachute cou …
I started a parachute course then I fell out with my instructor.
Continue ReadingDiets.. They’re for peopl …
Diets.. They’re for people who are thick and tired of it.
Continue ReadingI’m the kind of person wh …
I’m the kind of person who runs around a graveyard to give myself a sense of oneupmanship.
Continue ReadingSaw this on twibbon, they …
Saw this on twibbon, they didn’t need to tell us it was about america. “We believe that America was founded on the principles of individual freedom, limited government, and a free market. We acknowledge that this is a republic and that WE are the majority. We will remain quite no longer.” 13 supporters
Continue ReadingCombine Harvesters. Separ …
Combine Harvesters. Separating the wheat from the chaff.
Continue ReadingI’m always breaking into …
I’m always breaking into song… I can never find the right key
Continue ReadingI almost bought a gyrosco …
I almost bought a gyroscope earlier, but the bloke who was selling it wouldn’t let me take it out for a spin.
Continue ReadingI’ve just sold my soul to …
I’ve just sold my soul to the devil………… He particularly wanted the Stevie Wonder LP’s that i put on ebay.
Continue ReadingAn Englishman , a Scottis …
An Englishman , a Scottishman and an Irishman all go for a job at a pet shop. The interviewer tells all three that they can have a job if they can sing a song that includes a dog in the lyrics. The Englishman sings “How much is that Doggy in the window”, the Scottishman sings […]
Continue ReadingI broke into someone’s ho …
I broke into someone’s house the other day by picking their lock. The owner saw me and shouted “Who are you? and how did you get in here?” I replied… “I am a locksmith… and I am a locksmith.”
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