My friend: My grandmother …
My friend: My grandmother just died. It’s really shocking. I just thought she’d keep living until she was 100. Me: Were you close? My Friend: She was 94, so i wasn’t far off.
Continue ReadingWhat do they call a water …
What do they call a water fight in Somalia ? A “fight over water”……..
Continue ReadingI saw a Guinness brought …
I saw a Guinness brought to life on TV earlier. Turns out it was Trevor McDonald.
Continue ReadingI’ve just got a doctors n …
I’ve just got a doctors note and have taken the rest of the day off work. It was a fifty, and that should keep me in beer all afternoon.
Continue ReadingIt’s Sunday today… Rebe …
It’s Sunday today… Rebecca Black’s prophecy is coming true!
Continue ReadingJust saw a facebook group …
Just saw a facebook group called ‘boys buy hoodies to have them stolen by girls.’ No they dont. Boys buy hoodies to stand on street corners and knife people, remember David Cameron?
Continue ReadingGood judgement comes from …
Good judgement comes from bad experiences and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
Continue ReadingI didn’t know whether to …
I didn’t know whether to stop two little ducks falling to their deaths or not. It was a catch-22 situation
Continue ReadingRioters suddenly chased o …
Rioters suddenly chased out of largely asian based communities Hounslow and Southall. Who called The Turbanator?
Continue ReadingI have very poor hand-eye …
I have very poor hand-eye coordinaton. As for why, I just can’t put my finger on it.
Continue ReadingFailed my driving test to …
Failed my driving test today, only did one thing wrong though. I spilt my can of special brew over the examiner.
Continue ReadingI always watch my films o …
I always watch my films online. That way I don’t have to sit though those god-awful piracy warnings.
Continue ReadingI named my child after yo …
I named my child after you. My wife still thinks it’s an unconventional name though.
Continue ReadingI went out this weekend a …
I went out this weekend and bought a new Jack Russell puppy for the family. It’s black & brown with a small white area…so I called it Birmingham…
Continue ReadingThe local farmer has made …
The local farmer has made it easier for people to get in and out his fields. I like his stile.
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