BBC News: ‘Mystery of beh …
BBC News: ‘Mystery of beheaded French King solved’. Hmmm… just guessing, but I’d say he got his head cut off.
Continue Reading01:00 to 02:00 this morni …
01:00 to 02:00 this morning. Now there’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.
Continue ReadingMy son asked me, “what’s …
My son asked me, “what’s an example of poetic justice?” I told him, its like when a woman falls down the stairs, at a battered woman’s shelter.
Continue ReadingPound shops, Latin name: …
Pound shops, Latin name: Primark
Continue ReadingI brought my grandmother …
I brought my grandmother out for a chicken dinner last night, but she fell asleep. It was a Nandos.
Continue ReadingWent to watch that new so …
Went to watch that new social networking film with my best mate the other day, didn’t catch all of it though, he kept poking me.
Continue ReadingMy doctor says I must sto …
My doctor says I must stop obsessing about food. Piece of cake!
Continue ReadingHow many of you, after de …
How many of you, after deleting your browsing history, quickly visit your usual websites such as Hotmail, Sickipedia and Facebook just so it doesn’t look too obvious?
Continue ReadingI hate watching a TV seri …
I hate watching a TV series and reaching the last aired episode, so I always wait for it to end before I buy the box set and watch the whole thing. I’m so excited for Coronation Street.
Continue ReadingMasturbation: A temporary …
Masturbation: A temporary solution to a permanent problem
Continue ReadingMy boss said, “Because of …
My boss said, “Because of your tireless efforts over the last year, I’m gonna have to let you go.” “Why?” “Because it’s a tire company.”
Continue ReadingI hate people who say tha …
I hate people who say that age is just a number. ‘Age’ is clearly a word.
Continue ReadingThe remains of US-born ch …
The remains of US-born chess champion Bobby Fischer have been exhumed in Iceland to establish a paternity claim. Police said “We don’t think he’s the Dad, but we thought we’d better check mate”.
Continue ReadingMy mate went away on holi …
My mate went away on holiday. When he came back, I said, “So, how was it?” He said, “It was great, I got the sun every day.” I said, “Then why did you go away? You can get it at the local corner shop.”
Continue ReadingI wasn’t good when I ate …
I wasn’t good when I ate out my virgin girlfriend for the first time. Luckily I got a second bite of the cherry
Continue Reading