Last night for our annive …
Last night for our anniversary my wife was dressed to kill. She wore a ninja outfit with a real samurai sword.
Continue ReadingLast night for our anniversary my wife was dressed to kill. She wore a ninja outfit with a real samurai sword.
Continue ReadingLeft my job at the Fat Fighters monthly magazine when they made my weight an issue.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a bar and asks for a book on how to tell jokes properly
Continue ReadingI like putting sock and boots on my feet when I go to bed My wife hates it though, she’s allergic to cats
Continue ReadingMy mate turned to me and said “-I feel empty and uninteresting, as if I have nothing to contribute to the world. I dont know what to do..” “Update your facebook status!” I suggested.
Continue ReadingMy mate dared me to kidnap all the X-Factor contestants. I said I wouldn’t take The Risk.
Continue ReadingBBC News; ”Chef battered ex wife to death” How ironic.
Continue ReadingGot myself a smartphone last week, it’s brilliant. It turns itself off when the wife rings.
Continue ReadingWent to a party at Barry White’s house last night, it was very low key.
Continue ReadingI was having an issue with people copying and pasting sensitive data at work, at first I didn’t know what to do but I’ve finally taken ctrl.
Continue ReadingI keep getting these annoying texts. You know the ones where they keep sending more and more of them. I finally had enough today and sent STOP to the offending number. Didn’t work though; just got a reply saying something about missing our wedding day.
Continue Readinga mate of mine told me i didnt get sarcasm then complimented me on my nice yellow teeth
Continue ReadingMardy Fish has had to drop out of Wimbledon. He was arrested for battering his wife.
Continue ReadingWell, the threat of Osama has finally Bin Laden down to rest.
Continue ReadingIf you give a chimpanzee a computer it could type at random and eventually produce one of Shakespeare’s plays. If you give a black man a computer he would sell it for drugs.
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