Last night for our annive …
Last night for our anniversary my wife was dressed to kill. She wore a ninja outfit with a real samurai sword.
Continue ReadingLeft my job at the Fat Fi …
Left my job at the Fat Fighters monthly magazine when they made my weight an issue.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a bar an …
A man walks into a bar and asks for a book on how to tell jokes properly
Continue ReadingI like putting sock and b …
I like putting sock and boots on my feet when I go to bed My wife hates it though, she’s allergic to cats
Continue ReadingMy mate turned to me and …
My mate turned to me and said “-I feel empty and uninteresting, as if I have nothing to contribute to the world. I dont know what to do..” “Update your facebook status!” I suggested.
Continue ReadingMy mate dared me to kidna …
My mate dared me to kidnap all the X-Factor contestants. I said I wouldn’t take The Risk.
Continue ReadingBBC News; ”Chef battered …
BBC News; ”Chef battered ex wife to death” How ironic.
Continue ReadingGot myself a smartphone l …
Got myself a smartphone last week, it’s brilliant. It turns itself off when the wife rings.
Continue ReadingWent to a party at Barry …
Went to a party at Barry White’s house last night, it was very low key.
Continue ReadingI was having an issue wit …
I was having an issue with people copying and pasting sensitive data at work, at first I didn’t know what to do but I’ve finally taken ctrl.
Continue ReadingI keep getting these anno …
I keep getting these annoying texts. You know the ones where they keep sending more and more of them. I finally had enough today and sent STOP to the offending number. Didn’t work though; just got a reply saying something about missing our wedding day.
Continue Readinga mate of mine told me i …
a mate of mine told me i didnt get sarcasm then complimented me on my nice yellow teeth
Continue ReadingMardy Fish has had to dro …
Mardy Fish has had to drop out of Wimbledon. He was arrested for battering his wife.
Continue ReadingWell, the threat of Osama …
Well, the threat of Osama has finally Bin Laden down to rest.
Continue ReadingIf you give a chimpanzee …
If you give a chimpanzee a computer it could type at random and eventually produce one of Shakespeare’s plays. If you give a black man a computer he would sell it for drugs.
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