I thought my Chinese neig …
I thought my Chinese neighbour was heading back to China for Halloween but evidently not. I’ve just overheard him ask his missus if she’d booked the frights .
Continue ReadingThey say there’s a sucker …
They say there’s a sucker born every minute, but I’d be more curious to find out at what rate swallowers are born.
Continue ReadingI only play with my spast …
I only play with my spastic son when the internet isn’t working. I call it down-time.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Good spelling a …
BBC News: Good spelling and grammar becoming a dead language Rest In Piece.
Continue ReadingI was deciding whether or …
I was deciding whether or not to get a new bed yesterday. I decided to just sleep on it.
Continue ReadingI thought that mentioning …
I thought that mentioning that I had a young family at a recent social event would break the ice and help people warm to me, but when I introduced my 11 year old wife, the horrified look on their faces suggested otherwise.
Continue ReadingMy English teacher taught …
My English teacher taught me to write about what I know. He regretted that when I handed in my story about an old depressed English teacher, whose wife is leaving him.
Continue ReadingNewspaper headline: ‘Heav …
Newspaper headline: ‘Heavily Disfigured Face Covered in Silicone Oil Found in Bin’ Honestly, you couldn’t make it up.
Continue ReadingWe had a wood work societ …
We had a wood work society at my school. I was the vice president.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a horrible sleep …
I’ve got a horrible sleeping disorder where I have to wake up every morning and go to work.
Continue ReadingI told my kid “Those who …
I told my kid “Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.” He replied “Yeah, dad. You’ve told me before.”
Continue ReadingI’ve been suffering from …
I’ve been suffering from depression ever since the bridge I built collapsed. I can’t get over it
Continue ReadingEvery day at about 3:30 p …
Every day at about 3:30 pm I get an odd squeak in my the back of my car, but a Happy Meal seems to shut it up.
Continue ReadingMajor car collision on Sp …
Major car collision on Spaghetti Junction: 12 injured, 4 pasta way.
Continue ReadingThey’ve just opened up a …
They’ve just opened up a Polish shop in town, now I’m no business expert but restricting yourself to selling just Mr. Sheen & Pledge is asking for trouble.
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