What’s black, usually big …
What’s black, usually big, kills people, police are always on it and I just love to run over it with my car? A road.
Continue ReadingI’m going to Hooters for …
I’m going to Hooters for lunch today..They do great baps in there.
Continue ReadingI keep having nightmares …
I keep having nightmares about scales and I’m really worried. It’s weighing heavy on my mind.
Continue Reading“Gud luk 2 evry1 gettin t …
“Gud luk 2 evry1 gettin ther resultz 2moro” Thank you – I can tell you your English result already if you want.
Continue ReadingI decided to try a new me …
I decided to try a new method of attempting to kill my wife by using a knife and fork. I ended up making a meal of it.
Continue ReadingI told my mate I’d bring …
I told my mate I’d bring him back something from my holiday. He said “Abroad?” I said “If they’re selling them.”
Continue ReadingI got a text earlier, whe …
I got a text earlier, when my phone suddenly blew up! Turns out it was a Semtext.
Continue ReadingRecent studies show that …
Recent studies show that there were some studies done recently.
Continue ReadingIt’s National Kill A Stra …
It’s National Kill A Stranger Day ! I’m unsure whether to go out and kill a stranger , or stay in and hide under the bed.
Continue ReadingMoney talks… Thought th …
Money talks… Thought the Schizophrenic.
Continue ReadingAn original idea. That ca …
An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.
Continue ReadingI got caught out at work …
I got caught out at work today. The boss will go nuts if he finds out we played cricket.
Continue Reading“Yeah my dad was a Women’ …
“Yeah my dad was a Women’s Rights Activist” “Your dad?” “Yup” “Not your mum?” “No … Dad would have never allowed that”
Continue ReadingI’ve started an admin job …
I’ve started an admin job at a nail parlour. I just sit there doing the filing all day.
Continue ReadingMe and my girlfriend spen …
Me and my girlfriend spend most of our time together sharing selection boxes of chocolates. But it’s not all roses.
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