How do you tell when you’ …
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
Continue ReadingIf Cupid ever got married …
If Cupid ever got married, he really would be shooting himself in the foot.
Continue ReadingI was playing golf yester …
I was playing golf yesterday when i got a phonecall off the wife saying that my father had just died. I said this ones for pa”
Continue ReadingMy wife is leaving me tom …
My wife is leaving me tomorrow because she is creeped out by my psychic powers.
Continue ReadingMicrosoft’s new Windows a …
Microsoft’s new Windows advert talks about life without walls… Surely life without walls is a Window’s worst nightmare.
Continue ReadingWhat did one Vulture say …
What did one Vulture say to the other? “Ive got a bone to pick with you”.
Continue ReadingI had a police escort dri …
I had a police escort drive me home last night. I was shocked. I’d have thought they would have upgraded to the new focus by now.
Continue ReadingI love my job as a geneti …
I love my job as a genetic engineer, just this week I spliced together a llama and a giraffe. For a laugh.
Continue ReadingMSN news : White iPhone 4 …
MSN news : White iPhone 4 leaked apple juice presumably ?
Continue ReadingMy wife is easily led… …
My wife is easily led… So I’ve bought her a couple of lemmings for her birthday.
Continue ReadingThe news this week must b …
The news this week must be focusing on all those people who live in houses with no doors and windows. If your one of those people and just incase you dont know, its been snowing and everyone is been pathetic about it.
Continue ReadingI was pulled over by a co …
I was pulled over by a cop and asked to show my licence and registration. I said “Sure, just hold my phone and pint for me.”
Continue ReadingMy wife got a mudpack and …
My wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days.. then the mud fell off.
Continue ReadingI’m rich beyond my wildes …
I’m rich beyond my wildest dreams. Although my dreams are far from wild.
Continue ReadingNews Headline; ‘Stick’ fo …
News Headline; ‘Stick’ found on beach used as cricket bat actually leg bone.’ Secondary Headline; ‘Bystander caught making LBW joke at scene ironically beaten to death with cricket bat.’
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