I’ve just invented a fat …
I’ve just invented a fat jolly old man with a beard who loves children. I’m not sure what to call him, although I might call him a paedophile.
Continue ReadingSo David Beckham’s biogra …
So David Beckham’s biography is set to be a ‘picture book’. Surprise surprise…
Continue ReadingRace car designers are a …
Race car designers are a boring bunch. I met a group of them at the pub and it was nothing but torque, torque, torque.
Continue ReadingI once got locked up for …
I once got locked up for stabbing a paragraph. It was a lengthy sentence.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a play abo …
I’ve just seen a play about ‘Fly Fishing’. The cast was amazing.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone know the name …
Does anyone know the name of that black guy who plays for Wigan Athletic?
Continue ReadingThis bloke in the pub sai …
This bloke in the pub said “I remember you! You sold me that broken alarm clock two months ago.” It didn’t ring a bell.
Continue ReadingWhat do you find at the b …
What do you find at the bottom of a Jewish wishing well? Dead Jews with broken rappels.
Continue ReadingMy mate just asked, “Have …
My mate just asked, “Have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon?” I said, “No, I’d rather ride in the basket underneath, it’s much safer!”
Continue ReadingStephen Hawking: Making s …
Stephen Hawking: Making science cool, one syllable at a time.
Continue ReadingMy job really puts food o …
My job really puts food on the table I’m a waiter.
Continue ReadingA bear went to a hospital …
A bear went to a hospital after all his hair had fallen out, the receptionist said he needed to see a specialist, eventually he was referred..
Continue ReadingChildren in need. The ti …
Children in need. The time of year UK houseflies get to see all their African relatives on tv.
Continue ReadingWill our next contestant …
Will our next contestant be able to handle the pain here on The Torture Channel? Find out after the break.
Continue ReadingMy mates little sister wa …
My mates little sister was telling me what she wanted for christmas, she stated that she wanted a facial at a spa. I told her i would take her now, she was absoulted delighted. Then she asked ‘what we doing at the spar shop?’ I said, ‘come with me you’ll see.’
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