Health experts say red me …
Health experts say red meat is the worst for your health. Surely not as bad as furry green meat.
Continue ReadingLidl are said to be extre …
Lidl are said to be extremely worried about the release of M&S Value products. It might affect the sales of their premium range.
Continue ReadingI don’t want to alarm any …
I don’t want to alarm anyone but since that Volcano erupted, I haven’t seen a single dinosaur..
Continue ReadingI’ve just eaten a Minstre …
I’ve just eaten a Minstrel. Getting the guitar down was the hard part.
Continue ReadingMy mate finally finished …
My mate finally finished writing his book about cooking with herbs. It’s about thyme.
Continue ReadingShe pulled her silky guss …
She pulled her silky gusset to one side. I went in deep, deep up to my nuts in guts. She let out an almighty gasping groan …. Nan’s arthritis was playing up at an inopportune time yet again.
Continue ReadingEveryone was seated aroun …
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away. “Jonny, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” his mother reminded him. “I don’t have to,” the little boy replied. “Of course you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating […]
Continue Readingahh comic relief, the onl …
ahh comic relief, the only day where i can laugh at minority races and not get called racist.
Continue Reading“My new boyfriends just l …
“My new boyfriends just like a panda” “What – he eats, shoots & leaves?” “No, he’s fat and sterile.”
Continue ReadingMy love for you is like d …
My love for you is like diarrhea… I just can’t hold it in.
Continue ReadingI was having a discussion …
I was having a discussion with my wife today. She was going on about how I was too immature and childish for her and that she thinks we should terminate our marriage. “If you ever grow up, come and find me.” she said, “But right now, it’s over”. I broke down into tears at this […]
Continue ReadingMy mate never has any pro …
My mate never has any problems getting 3g on his mobile. He knows loads of drug dealers.
Continue ReadingIf you’re havin’ face spa …
If you’re havin’ face spasms I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but a twitch ain’t one.
Continue ReadingI got absolutely hammered …
I got absolutely hammered and spent 2 hours flying a helicopter last night! ……. then I ran out of 50p’s
Continue ReadingIts better to have loved …
Its better to have loved and lost, than to have won and paid a lump sum to a lawyer.
Continue Reading