My friend said to me “Our …
My friend said to me “Our modern society is full of people from all walks of life” “What about the paraplegics?” I replied.
Continue ReadingWhen I was younger my par …
When I was younger my parents always told me if I was good Santa would come, however I didn’t realise they meant on my face
Continue ReadingI got fired from my job a …
I got fired from my job as a prostate examiner today… Apparently shouting “Look, no hands!” is inapropriate.
Continue ReadingNot sure why so many peop …
Not sure why so many people saying Blackberry not working. I’ve just looked on Halle Berry’s profile on IMDb and she’s got 2 films coming out soon and 1 for next year.
Continue ReadingI was spoon-fed until I w …
I was spoon-fed until I was old enough to say I hated eating cutlery.
Continue ReadingBBC News; Man accused of …
BBC News; Man accused of throwing toddler against wall. That’ll never stick!
Continue ReadingEastern Europeans come to …
Eastern Europeans come to work in the UK for little money. It’s Slav labour.
Continue ReadingThe Jews had a hard time …
The Jews had a hard time of it in the early forties. It was all work, no pay.
Continue ReadingHire cars: they’re no goo …
Hire cars: they’re no good at all for midgets.
Continue ReadingYou know that you’re fat …
You know that you’re fat when you have a Christmas card ready for the pizza delivery man.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Plans for readi …
BBC News: Plans for reading tests at six. It’s a bit short notice, I usually have my tea then.
Continue ReadingYou can be in the copper …
You can be in the copper team or the aluminium team, but there is no iron team.
Continue ReadingLord, I am truly thankful …
Lord, I am truly thankful for this bowl of noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
Continue ReadingI don’t gamble……….s …
I don’t gamble……….so i hit her at at 120 mph
Continue ReadingEveryone is calling me Mr …
Everyone is calling me Mr Paranoid. I just know it.
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