Daily Mail: ‘Man killed b …
Daily Mail: ‘Man killed by clothes horse’ Should have gone to hanger management.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend described o …
My girlfriend described our relationship like being stuck in a prison. Her and her Strangeways.
Continue ReadingSince it was my sons birt …
Since it was my sons birthday at the weekend I told him I would spend some time and play Tiger Woods with him. I tried to hide him in a tree, but the tiger was unstoppable.
Continue ReadingA preposition is a bad th …
A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with. And a conjunction is a bad thing to begin a sentence with.
Continue ReadingI was 3/4 of the way thro …
I was 3/4 of the way through reading the dictionary when I lost my page. I’ve decided to start from scratch.
Continue ReadingHow do you stop your mout …
How do you stop your mouth from freezing? Grit your teeth!
Continue ReadingI used to work as a mathe …
I used to work as a mathematical lumberjack. My timing was out though – I used the wrong logarithm.
Continue ReadingThe Grim Reaper came to m …
The Grim Reaper came to my house last night and said it was my time to go… I wasn’t going without a fight so I hit him over the head with my vacuum cleaner.. I couldn’t help but think I was Dyson with death.
Continue ReadingWith hindsight, I’d have …
With hindsight, I’d have eyes in the back of my head.
Continue ReadingMy boss called me into hi …
My boss called me into his office today and said, “I’m terminating your employment with us because your attention span is not very long.” “My attention what?” I replied.
Continue ReadingMy mate recently bought a …
My mate recently bought a really expensive monocle. It’s quite a spectacle.
Continue ReadingNo wonder Holland floods …
No wonder Holland floods all the time. All the drains are clogged.
Continue ReadingLesson in Life: Hold Your …
Lesson in Life: Hold Your Head High, But Your Middle Finger Higher.
Continue ReadingI can’t decide what type …
I can’t decide what type of joke to write in this box, it’s a bit of a grey area…
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Cary Grant and Russell Grant? You can rustle Cary Grant….
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