My girlfriend accused me …
My girlfriend accused me of not living in the real world today. Me and my World of Warcraft buddies were shocked.
Continue ReadingWhere do cows buy their c …
Where do cows buy their clothes? A Cattle Logue
Continue ReadingTomorrow: (noun) The grea …
Tomorrow: (noun) The greatest labour saving device of today.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me the othe …
My mate asked me the other day, “What’s the most anticlimactic way to end a joke” I wondered about it for a while before telling him I don’t know.
Continue ReadingI’ve spent two years look …
I’ve spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer….. But no one will do it.
Continue ReadingEveryone seems to complai …
Everyone seems to complain about the UK weather apart from me. I live in Spain.
Continue ReadingI sold my car in the loca …
I sold my car in the local newspaper today. The bloke that bought it spent 3 hours unwrapping it.
Continue ReadingDelia Smith once said the …
Delia Smith once said there is nothing worse than a soggy souffl. As a diabetic throat cancer patient I wouldn’t know, but it certainly sounds awful.
Continue ReadingThis thing with the 33 Ch …
This thing with the 33 Chilean miners stuck in a small room together underground is just like Big Brother. They’ll be boring for another two months as well.
Continue ReadingI was looking for a pair …
I was looking for a pair of socks but could only find one. That’s odd.
Continue ReadingI’m just off for a kick a …
I’m just off for a kick about with the lads. I’ll be right-back.
Continue ReadingPolice could have been ju …
Police could have been justified in using firearms against August rioters who burned buildings, police watchdog says. That dog certainly knows his stuff.
Continue ReadingWomen: save money on anti …
Women: save money on anti-ageing products by dying young.
Continue ReadingDonate two pounds a month …
Donate two pounds a month to the NSPCC or little Tommy won’t be so lucky next time. I think it’s terrible how a charity can resort to blackmail like that.
Continue ReadingMe and my mate spitroaste …
Me and my mate spitroasted this bird the other day… Tastes just like chicken
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