Hey, am I the only one wh …
Hey, am I the only one who thinks Pacman should give Ghostbusters a call?
Continue ReadingIf it doesn’t do anything …
If it doesn’t do anything, does that mean Carlsberg is black?
Continue ReadingI was one of the 500,000 …
I was one of the 500,000 people at Woodstock back in ’69 Lucky I went too, otherwise there would only have been 499,999.
Continue ReadingI slept like a dog last n …
I slept like a dog last night. Rough.
Continue ReadingThey say the simplest of …
They say the simplest of things can ruin strong relationships… …for me, it was forgetting to press Ctrl-Shift-p
Continue ReadingThe trouble with using a …
The trouble with using a disabled toilet is it doesn’t flush.
Continue ReadingAll the day, I sit idle a …
All the day, I sit idle at work. It’s tough being a diet consultant in Africa.
Continue ReadingI’ve just put a tracker o …
I’ve just put a tracker on my new car incase it gets stolen. I still don’t know how a chocolate bar will help locate it though.
Continue ReadingI nearly bought a hill to …
I nearly bought a hill today but it was a bit too steep
Continue ReadingMy mum asked me why i was …
My mum asked me why i was washing my dads brother, Ian in the bath. What she actually said was “go and wash, you’re unclean”
Continue ReadingWent to visit my Gran the …
Went to visit my Gran the other day and saw a box of persil on top of her TV. I said “Gran, what are you doing with that?” Turns out she had no Ariel.
Continue ReadingA thought. If I enter St …
A thought. If I enter Stephen Hawking against his will, am I a rapist or a hacker?
Continue ReadingI just hoovered up three …
I just hoovered up three flies, then spilled some protein powder a minute later and hoovered THAT up. This could end badly.
Continue ReadingI’m gutted that the inter …
I’m gutted that the internet completely destroyed some of my childhood’s urban myths. When was the last time someone told you not to swallow chewing gum because it would take seven years to digest?
Continue ReadingThe ironic thing about fl …
The ironic thing about flat mates, …is that they’re also 3D mates.
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