Tonight on BBC Children I …
Tonight on BBC Children In Need – ‘Peter Andre delivers a tribute to Michael Jackson’ Hopefully in person
Continue Reading“Hey man, did you see tha …
“Hey man, did you see that wild pig?!” “Nah I was having a slash in the bushes.” “Oh, well don’t worry too much… it was a bore.”
Continue ReadingI gathered a crowd round …
I gathered a crowd round me and said to one of them, “Ok, pick a card, any card.” That was my first and last day working for Clintons.
Continue ReadingA survey has revealed tha …
A survey has revealed that, if you get together a group of twitter and facebook users, and tell them they should really take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror, 97% will have beaten you to it.
Continue ReadingWhenever I delete an App …
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they’re all panicking over who’s going to be deleted.
Continue ReadingI’m the most street perso …
I’m the most street person you’ll ever meet. Nothing I like more than hanging with my housies.
Continue ReadingThe only thing my wife wa …
The only thing my wife wants me to do spontaneously on Valentines day is combust.
Continue ReadingA Photon walked into a ho …
A Photon walked into a hotel today, he went to the counter and asked for a room – the hotelier replied ‘certainly sir, do you want me to take your bags?’ The photon replied ‘No thanks… I’m travelling light’
Continue ReadingJust been announced on th …
Just been announced on the radio that girls as young as 13 are being encouraged to buy the contraceptive pill over the counter! That should cut down my future CSA payments.
Continue ReadingI always loved my mum’s p …
I always loved my mum’s parents, Pearl and Dean. Of course I knew them as Granny and Grandpapa-p’pa-p’pa-p’pa-pahpahpah.
Continue ReadingRomanians having to flee …
Romanians having to flee their homes due to religous and bigoted intolerance. I didn’t think Belfast was like that.
Continue ReadingI was gonna stab that Ala …
I was gonna stab that Alanis Morisette, but all I had was 10,000 spoons when all I needed was a knife. isn’t that ironic?
Continue ReadingMcDonald’s: Giving abusiv …
McDonald’s: Giving abusive husbands somewhere to meet their children since 1955.
Continue ReadingEvents in the last couple …
Events in the last couple of days have been very damaging to boxing. Britain’s last cardboard factory has gone bust.
Continue ReadingTrampoline required urgen …
Trampoline required urgently, any condition, shape or size to replace mine that has been stolen. Please deliver and place it under me before I start to fall.
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