Finally had my tattoo fin …
Finally had my tattoo finished today. Quite impressed with my wizards sleeve.
Continue ReadingJust been on Formspring.m …
Just been on Formspring.me and i apparently have a girlfriend. Her name is Anonymous.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Obama To Improv …
BBC News: Obama To Improve Muslim Ties. Is he going to shine their shoes for them too?
Continue ReadingMy Wife is suicidal due t …
My Wife is suicidal due to her fear of light. I told her to look on the bright side.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend dumped me w …
My girlfriend dumped me when we were visiting a very old castle. I was in ruins.
Continue ReadingDad doesn’t earn enough m …
Dad doesn’t earn enough money That’s why mum goes to Iceland
Continue ReadingJust got back from the su …
Just got back from the supermarket where the “JLM indestructible Floor Mops!!” were right next to the “JLM Replacement FLoor Mop Heads!!”…
Continue ReadingJust had my first ever fo …
Just had my first ever fortune cookie. Tasted awesome, taste better if they wouldn’t put paper in them though.
Continue ReadingMet a female carpenter th …
Met a female carpenter the other day. Ended up nailing her.
Continue ReadingI treat my women how I tr …
I treat my women how I treat my condoms; I eventually break them and put them in the bin.
Continue ReadingI saw a man at the beach …
I saw a man at the beach yelling “Help, shark! Help!” I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the fastest animal …
What’s the fastest animal in the world? A hamster if you throw it hard enough!
Continue ReadingAt a family Barbecue, I e …
At a family Barbecue, I ended up falling out with everyone because not one of them even gave my girlfriend a chance they just stared at her black skin, I had to eat most of her myself. Racists.
Continue ReadingScared of spiders? Do wha …
Scared of spiders? Do what I do.. Imagine them all naked
Continue ReadingI looked up the definitio …
I looked up the definition of “definition” today. It read, “Get a life”.
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