.. thinks life was much m …
.. thinks life was much more simpler when Apple and Blackberry were just Mr. Kiplings pie fillings.
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Missing Yale student found in wall. She was plastered.
Continue ReadingThe local nudist colony h …
The local nudist colony held an 80’s night. I came as a 12 inch single
Continue ReadingI once knew a guy with Al …
I once knew a guy with Alzheimer’s who got himself arrested intentionally. He didn’t know what he was in for.
Continue ReadingI noticed our local libra …
I noticed our local library didn’t have a single fire extinguisher anywhere. Which is mental considering they had several books on fire.
Continue Reading“Doctor, I keep thinking …
“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a Tyrannosaurus Rex.” “And how long have you felt like this?” “About 65 million years.”
Continue ReadingMy first night working as …
My first night working as a bouncer didn’t last long… As soon as I got there they showed me the door.
Continue ReadingMy wife and I wanted kids …
My wife and I wanted kids, but I was firing blanks. I invited my mate to do the honour, but he ended up pulling out.
Continue ReadingWhen I was little I had i …
When I was little I had imaginary friends and I used to play with them all the time. They were real people, i just imagined they were my friends.
Continue ReadingI’m depressed and I hate …
I’m depressed and I hate my job. Every day I ask myself “is it really worth it?” Mind you, I am an antiques dealer.
Continue ReadingThe foot. A part of the b …
The foot. A part of the body that allows you to find an upturned plug in the dark.
Continue ReadingWhat is the difference be …
What is the difference between the armed forces and a circus? In the circus you don’t have to salute the clowns.
Continue ReadingWhat do bees do when they …
What do bees do when they move into a new hive? Have a house swarming party.
Continue ReadingAsking questions to Afgha …
Asking questions to Afghan people in my town and recording the answers with a simple chart is no longer allowed, There’s a taliban.
Continue ReadingHaving mutual friends wit …
Having mutual friends with someone doesn’t mean you should add them on facebook.. . It’s like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, “Hey we both know John, Ron, And Tina… You mind if I come in?”
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