A man has been arrested f …
A man has been arrested for smuggling hay. He’s been released on bale.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she wanted t …
My wife said she wanted to try some role-play in the bedroom and bought me a police costume. That night I was nowhere to be seen and eventually arrived about an hour after the event.
Continue ReadingI love crosswords. Angry …
I love crosswords. Angry is my favourite
Continue ReadingAn eerie thing is causing …
An eerie thing is causing my close relatives to send me badly written letters. Whatever it is, it makes my kin scrawl.
Continue ReadingThe number of secure cars …
The number of secure cars these days are alarming.
Continue ReadingI made a joke nine months …
I made a joke nine months ago, my son.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is still wi …
My girlfriend is still with me because of my obsession with lying.
Continue ReadingI used to sniff glue, but …
I used to sniff glue, but now I find it tacky
Continue ReadingI can’t stand kids. I hav …
I can’t stand kids. I have to stack them in my shed side-ways.
Continue ReadingHere’s a good one for you …
Here’s a good one for you, Good one.
Continue ReadingZebras are serious animal …
Zebras are serious animals. They’re very black and white about things.
Continue ReadingMy jobcentre advisor offe …
My jobcentre advisor offered me a position today, blowing on people to cool them down. Can’t say I’m a fan.
Continue ReadingHow to lose weight in 3 e …
How to lose weight in 3 easy steps: 1. Buy a bed sheet 2. Cut to eye holes in it and wear it so you look like a ghost 3. Go for a jog light jog in Detroit
Continue ReadingI just completed an obsta …
I just completed an obstacle course. I’m now certified to prevent or hinder progress.
Continue ReadingSo far in my new job, I’v …
So far in my new job, I’ve saved two babies from certain death. The head of the abortion clinic has given me my final warning.
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