QJOQ

My mate takes part in a weather predicting contest every month. He’s the raining champion.

I was staring at a woman naked with binoculars. I said, “What are you looking at?” She said, “Why are you naked?”

I told my wife I wanted a divorce this morning. She said, “Pigs might fly before I give you the satisfaction of a divorce”. So I threw her out of the window.

“Hairdresser dies at Salon” Not that shocking, I would have thought dying was in her job description.

My mate once wasted a load of money buying a forest. He got a lot of stick for that.

A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he says to his wife. “No, that feels like snow to me, dear,” she replies. Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them. “Let’s not fight about it,” the man says. […]

Did Princess Diana have a Will? Of course she did. ..And a Harry.