As I sat down to eat lunc …
As I sat down to eat lunch in the office staff room I couldn’t help getting annoyed at the fire alarm constantly going off. I don’t even know why I became a fireman in the first place.
Continue ReadingI’ve built a stock car. I …
I’ve built a stock car. It runs on Knorr cubes and French bouillion.
Continue ReadingDisabled artists that use …
Disabled artists that use their feet give me the worst mental pictures.
Continue ReadingJust got back from the la …
Just got back from the latest Apple convention, with Steve Jobs giving the key note speech featuring a new product for speedy web access. It hangs from just above each eye, giving the user full control over website search. Apple are calling it, the iBrowse
Continue ReadingI can’t jstand queue umpe …
I can’t jstand queue umpers.
Continue ReadingI was eating at an Italia …
I was eating at an Italian Restaurant and I ordered a Chefs special pizza. When it arrived it tasted awful, so I demanded to speak to the chef himself “This pizza is completely overdone and tastes like cardboard!” I complained. “Scusami?! It is perfection! I Have been cooking this pizza for over 30 years!” He […]
Continue ReadingI came third at the Natio …
I came third at the National Tanning Championships. I got bronze.
Continue ReadingI am setting up a shoppin …
I am setting up a shopping website called Bulldozers.com. I should be able to take down Amazon
Continue ReadingMe and my Army mates were …
Me and my Army mates were complaining about our commanding officers. It was more of a General moan, nothing Major.
Continue ReadingWhen God closes a door, h …
When God closes a door, he opens a window, which explains how the robbers gained entry.
Continue ReadingThe wife said she was lea …
The wife said she was leaving me because I’m too lazy, I couldn’t be bothered to reply to such a comment.
Continue Reading‘…At the pre-wedding re …
‘…At the pre-wedding rehearsal, the vicar said to the groom, “All you have to remember is this”: 1. You walk up to the AISLE 2. You kneel at the ALTER 3. And then we sing a HYMN Your keywords are: AISLE, ALTER, HYMN. …And that, my friends, are the same keywords of ALL brides. I’LL […]
Continue ReadingFacebook: Not making me b …
Facebook: Not making me beat my child up since December, 2010.
Continue Readingannoyingly, facebook seem …
annoyingly, facebook seems to be the way of slowly welcoming sickipedia jokes into acceptable society granted i’m being fairly loose on my use of ‘acceptable scoiety’
Continue ReadingA friend of mine suddenly …
A friend of mine suddenly announced she had been taking Judo lessons. Totally threw me.
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