Yahoo News: Eva Green pre …
Yahoo News: Eva Green prefers intense roles. I recommend the chicken cajun baguette at Upper Crust.
Continue ReadingMy son complains about he …
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!
Continue Reading“But professor,” she said …
“But professor,” she said, “I still don’t understand. Why are you giving me free tuition?” “Well,” I replied, “I see a lot of myself in you.” “Really? How much?” “About six inches, but I haven’t decided where to put it yet.”
Continue ReadingI could tell that my dad …
I could tell that my dad was wearing my boxer shorts when I went into the living room. I recognised his nose sticking out the slit at the front.
Continue ReadingAt a recent comedy night …
At a recent comedy night a bloke would stand on the stage in-between each act and shout “Pollyfilla!” I think he was just filling the gaps.
Continue ReadingI’ve been working on a mo …
I’ve been working on a mosaic made of broken bottles, but it’s not really all that it’s cracked up to be.
Continue ReadingI was walking past a cons …
I was walking past a construction site the other day when a brickie started yelling abuse at an Indian woman. He was a cowboy builder.
Continue ReadingI’m not a big fan of stre …
I’m not a big fan of street food. It’s just a bit too pedestrian.
Continue ReadingI saw a horrific car cras …
I saw a horrific car crash this morning. A skoda
Continue ReadingMy wife’s leaving me due …
My wife’s leaving me due to my obsession with Cadbury’s chocolates. Let’s have a celebration.
Continue ReadingI used to design mazes… …
I used to design mazes… But it was a dead-end job.
Continue ReadingIn a recent survey of ‘fo …
In a recent survey of ‘food’ that apparently ‘Taste like chicken’, Rat came an easy first, with Frogs legs a close second. KFC’s ‘popcorn chicken’, came last.
Continue ReadingPuns are bad, but poetry …
Puns are bad, but poetry is verse.
Continue ReadingThey say a bird in the ha …
They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but my hand on your birds bush is worth two black eyes.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign in McDonald’ …
I saw a sign in McDonald’s saying, “There’s more to working at McDonald’s than flipping burgers.” At first I was sceptical, but as I retuned to my car I saw a man dressed in a jacket that proudly displayed the words, “Litter patrol”. How wrong I was.
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