BBC News: Police ‘failed’ …
BBC News: Police ‘failed’ deaf man who died. “Perhaps if they used the flashing lights instead of the sirens, it might have been avoided?”
Continue ReadingWhen I go to delete an ap …
When I go to delete an app on my Iphone and they’re shaking, it always makes me feel guilty, its almost like they’re all anxious about who’s getting axed.
Continue ReadingMy wife Olivia died so I …
My wife Olivia died so I thought I’d cash in on the inheritance. The solicitor told me this was impossible. Apparently he’d lost the will to Liv.
Continue Reading“Doctor Doctor, I found a …
“Doctor Doctor, I found a lump on my prostate.” “How did you manage to do that?” “Err…”
Continue ReadingI have a feeling I’m not …
I have a feeling I’m not as popular as I thought. I’ve been put in goal for my local darts team.
Continue ReadingSince my wife left, it’s …
Since my wife left, it’s really allowed me to experiment with cooking. Tonight I’m having wraps filled with fish fingers and chocolate spread.
Continue ReadingMy wife spends so much ti …
My wife spends so much time shopping online, I’m beginning to think our wedding vows were “to love, honour and eBay”.
Continue ReadingGot arrested for fly tipp …
Got arrested for fly tipping this morning. I gave a Bluebottle fifty quid.
Continue ReadingWoke up this morning and …
Woke up this morning and caught my Jewish room mate checking under his bed to see if he’d lost any sleep.
Continue ReadingWhen I found out I had on …
When I found out I had one hour to live, it was hard to decide what I should do. Eventually I decided, I would forward the email to 25 of my friends.
Continue ReadingI’ve been trying to book …
I’ve been trying to book a hospital appointment for my spinal arthritis but my doctor keeps holding me back.
Continue ReadingScalping. Now that never …
Scalping. Now that never really caught on did it? Even the Red Indians had their reservations.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend of two year …
My girlfriend of two years dumped me yesterday, said I had too many paranoias and it was strangling the relationship, I was all too often scared to go to the shop and perform menial tasks. My mate tried to console me, told me there were plenty more fish in the sea. No good to me, […]
Continue ReadingI’ve got a smart phone. U …
I’ve got a smart phone. Unlike me, it didn’t get married.
Continue ReadingBBC News: New hope to res …
BBC News: New hope to restore lost vision Open your eyes?
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