Arrowsmiths have gone on …
Arrowsmiths have gone on strike because they feel their work is underappreciated. To be fair, they do make a good point.
Continue ReadingAs a student nurse I had …
As a student nurse I had little money for meals so I ate the awful food provided at the hospital canteen.I often took my break in the ward kitchen and sometimes kindly visitors would hand in treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to eat them.One night a woman brought a pie […]
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a german …
What do you call a german on speaker phone? Hans Free
Continue ReadingYou’ll always find me in …
You’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties. Eating the entire contents of my fridge because I wasn’t invited again.
Continue ReadingWarning! DO NOT use Faceb …
Warning! DO NOT use Facebook and Sickipedia whilst drunk: now my entire family, friends and ex-boss know exactly what I want to do with my seven-year-old twin girls, a ball gag, a jar of marmite and a weekend in a Premier Inn.
Continue ReadingI wouldn’t say my wife is …
I wouldn’t say my wife is easy, Horizontally accessible sounds better.
Continue ReadingJust saw a bird with with …
Just saw a bird with with a T-shirt with ”Run for life” on the back. If that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is.
Continue ReadingYou have to look hard to …
You have to look hard to be an auctioneer. It’s essential to look forbidding.
Continue ReadingI received a wedding invi …
I received a wedding invitation today. On the back it read: ‘Please write the amount of guests attending and post back’ I’m not usually good at this sort of thing, but I went for 120.
Continue Reading“Is it ok to take my clon …
“Is it ok to take my clone into the boxing ring to spar with?” “Yeah, knock yourself out.”
Continue ReadingI’m scared of buddhism. T …
I’m scared of buddhism. Think I’ve got zenophobia.
Continue ReadingIt was “all go” in work t …
It was “all go” in work today. Everyone got made redundant.
Continue ReadingThe WWI drinking game was …
The WWI drinking game wasn’t much fun. Every time you saw a German, you took a shot.
Continue ReadingApparently I’m a chauvini …
Apparently I’m a chauvinistic pig for buying my wife a dishwasher. All right, the dish-washer may be 15 and likes to dress in a bikini but I was only trying to do my wife a favour.
Continue ReadingI used to have a nickname …
I used to have a nickname at school. Nick.
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