Don’t you think it’s a bi …
Don’t you think it’s a bit of a coincidence that the battle of Hastings happened on the same date as the number of the HastingsDirect website?
Continue ReadingThe government say I can’ …
The government say I can’t get my pension yet, as I am only 22. I hate being born on a leap year… All my friends are 88.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend said that I …
My girlfriend said that I needed to stop trying to make dramatic situations out of absolutely nothing. Or Did She?
Continue ReadingI walked up to a farmer a …
I walked up to a farmer and asked him, “Why do you cut your maize-crops in the shape of a mythical horned-horse?” “My unique corn is none of your business,” he said.
Continue ReadingTop Tip: Not funny? Why n …
Top Tip: Not funny? Why not post an anti-American rant and hope for the best?
Continue ReadingGreat little prank for Fa …
Great little prank for Facebook chat: Click on anyone randomly and type “I couldn’t be bothered taking her to the abortion clinic, so I just did it myself” Then type, “Oops sorry wrong convo!” The responses are priceless!
Continue ReadingIf you define radius as ” …
If you define radius as “z” and thickness as “a” then the volume of a pizza is: Pi*z*z*a.
Continue ReadingYou know you play too muc …
You know you play too much Farmville when you see a tree in bloom and you think, “Someone needs to harvest that”.
Continue ReadingI was enjoying a coffee i …
I was enjoying a coffee in a country cafe this morning when a posh guy on the table next to me burped loudly. I said, “Oi mate, where’s your manners?” He said, “Well old chap, I’ve got one in Hertfordshire and one in Kent.”
Continue ReadingMy mates said they were g …
My mates said they were going to get me a new digital clock for my birthday. Turns out it was just a wind up.
Continue ReadingI have an incredible tale …
I have an incredible talent: I can tell a persons skin colour just from their ashes! I call it crematography
Continue ReadingYesterday, my wife said s …
Yesterday, my wife said she’s leaving, because I overuse haikus.
Continue ReadingI’ve figured out how to a …
I’ve figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets; I’ve taken the windscreen wipers off my car.
Continue ReadingThe App ‘Temple Run’ is j …
The App ‘Temple Run’ is just like the real world Monkeys chasing a white man for his coins
Continue ReadingWent out to buy some doug …
Went out to buy some dough mixture the other day, it’s how I roll.
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