As a Beekeeper I’m a nigh …
As a Beekeeper I’m a nightmare to play scrabble with.
Continue ReadingAs I jumped onto the back …
As I jumped onto the back of the motorbike, it made a loud roaring noise and shot off down the street. Everyone was staring open-mouthed and I could just tell they were all thinking how cool I looked in my leathers. But then I lost control and was headed right for a pedestrian. The bike […]
Continue ReadingMy obsession with cars is …
My obsession with cars is causing my wife and I to drift apart.
Continue ReadingI was shocked when I jump …
I was shocked when I jumped on the scales this morning. I didn’t even know my wife was a mermaid.
Continue ReadingI while ago I decided to …
I while ago I decided to bid a dollar a day on a randon eBay product, just to earn myself a few nice trinkets. Day one: a roll of duct tape. Day two: a pair of furry handcuffs. Day three: an industrial shovel. …I’m going to stop this now before I end up on every […]
Continue ReadingA wise man once said if y …
A wise man once said if you love somebody let them go. I love my wife but looking at her body on the rocks below I’m tending to disagree.
Continue ReadingTwo silkworms had a race. …
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Continue ReadingIf stretch limos are so g …
If stretch limos are so great why is it every time i drive past one someone is trying to climb out of the window?
Continue ReadingI found a couple of old c …
I found a couple of old comics in my cellar the other day , so i put them up for sale on ebay. When the buyer came round to collect them you should have seen the look on his face when he looked it the box and saw the decomposed bodies of Morcambe and Wise.
Continue ReadingJust saw this joke: Stati …
Just saw this joke: Statistically 9/10 of the jokes on here have been copied. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… I would just like to add that; statistically 9/10 of the jokes on here have been copied.
Continue ReadingI don’t mean to boast but …
I don’t mean to boast but I am a very humble person.
Continue ReadingMy mate reckons every tim …
My mate reckons every time he goes to the local skip, he hears voices. I’ve been and I’ve never heard such rubbish.
Continue ReadingThe seas and oceans of th …
The seas and oceans of the world were formed when God first came into existence.
Continue ReadingA policeman pulled me ove …
A policeman pulled me over last night. He said, “You’ve clearly had too much to drink, what are you doing sitting behind the wheel?” I said, “Trying to reverse.” He said, “You should be sitting in the seat, please get off the dashboard and step out of the car.”
Continue ReadingI’ve had a problem with m …
I’ve had a problem with my filing cabinet recently. I think its sorted now.
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