I tried parallel parking …
I tried parallel parking today. Ended up in another dimension.
Continue ReadingDespite the recession Com …
Despite the recession Comic Relief raised 57m. I’d love to see Lenny Henry’s face when my cheque for 55m bounces! Well worth the 40 quid charge.
Continue ReadingI’m ashamed to admit it, …
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I do like to use scaremonger tactics to get what I want. I haven’t paid for fish in years.
Continue Reading“A man at my work was kil …
“A man at my work was killed by a pallet falling off the back of a lorry today” i told my friend ” it weighed 400kg and landed straight on his head” i said to him “Gross” he said “No, net” i replied
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a condom and S Club 7? S Club 7 split 9 months after my son was born
Continue ReadingI recently bought a littl …
I recently bought a little shop in Blackpool selling candy and sandwhiches. I’m living my life on rock and roll.
Continue ReadingMy wife hates the fact th …
My wife hates the fact that I like to put ketchup on everything. Especially the toilet seat & door handles.
Continue ReadingApple is bringing out a n …
Apple is bringing out a new phone for less appealing people. It’s called the iSore
Continue ReadingChris Evans is going down …
Chris Evans is going down the London Sewer for Children In Need. No need, Chris. They have them on the surface as well, these days.
Continue ReadingThere are 37 things I hat …
There are 37 things I hate in this world; jokes that don’t make any logical sense.
Continue ReadingIrony.. Its the second an …
Irony.. Its the second anniversary of baby P`s death! The Black eyed peas are at number one.
Continue ReadingStatistically 1 in 4 hobb …
Statistically 1 in 4 hobbits are merry.
Continue ReadingThis erection is getting …
This erection is getting out of hand.
Continue ReadingChuck Norris has only eve …
Chuck Norris has only ever farted once. His trip to Haiti did not go well.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a black …
What do you call a black dwarf? A ne-grow
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