The real question is, why …
The real question is, why did the road move laterally under the stationary chicken?
Continue ReadingI’m one of those people w …
I’m one of those people who has the amazing talent of being able to shake my wallet and know exactly how much money is in it. Because it’s empty.
Continue ReadingA policeman pulls over a …
A policeman pulls over a man for speeding and after some discussion hands him a ticket for three points and a fine. The man wittily asks “is this a raffle ticket?” To which the policeman quickly replies “yeah sort of, four of those and you win a free bike”
Continue ReadingI bought a pair of shoes …
I bought a pair of shoes with a built-in iPod but I could only walk extremely slowly. Then I realised I had it on shuffle.
Continue ReadingBananosecond. Time elapse …
Bananosecond. Time elapsed between slipping on the peel and hitting the pavement.
Continue ReadingThis is a genuine quote f …
This is a genuine quote from an American teenager when asked what she thought of Twilight: New Moon. “It was like, totally awesome! Oh…and vampires are the hottest thing alive!” Somehow, I don’t think she was trying to be ironic.
Continue ReadingWife told me i was too ha …
Wife told me i was too hard when controlling the kids. How did she notice?
Continue ReadingWe were up before a 4 foo …
We were up before a 4 foot 6 ins Judge last week. Thought to myself, “Little things are sent to try us”.
Continue ReadingAccording to the judge “M …
According to the judge “My home is my castle” Wasn’t a viable excuse for pouring the boiling oil out of my upstairs window onto the Jehovah’s witnesses below.
Continue ReadingMe and my wife went to th …
Me and my wife went to the local Pet Shop to buy a pet bird of some sort. It proved unsuccessful; after shooting down all of her suggestions the pet shop manager said I wouldn’t a suitable owner.
Continue ReadingMuller Yoghurt eaters: Sa …
Muller Yoghurt eaters: Save a fortune by buying your yoghurts ready mixed.
Continue ReadingSo, if you have a Local A …
So, if you have a Local Area Network in Australia, is that the LAN down under.
Continue ReadingI’m making a fortune in m …
I’m making a fortune in my job as a door-to-door salesman of “NO DOOR-TO-DOOR SALESMEN” signs.
Continue ReadingSun cream can help preven …
Sun cream can help prevent skin cancer. It’s a matter of factor.
Continue ReadingMy time machine and I go …
My time machine and I go way back
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