Sitting in my exam, the q …
Sitting in my exam, the question read; In your own words describe the events leading up to the battle of little big horn. I wrote, Huber tan bod shabby shab. A Ropy pop Zin. A boo boo ah boo boo.
Continue ReadingMy son wanted an Xbox 360 …
My son wanted an Xbox 360 for his birthday, I told him we can’t afford it but I would buy him an Etch a sketch instead. You have to draw the line somewhere.
Continue ReadingDieting sucks A waist is …
Dieting sucks A waist is a terrible thing to mind
Continue ReadingI fancied some tea the ot …
I fancied some tea the other day. Boy, it sure is difficult to walk through Tesco with a hard on.
Continue ReadingHalf a dozen Because “six …
Half a dozen Because “six” is way too long.
Continue ReadingI just saw Louis Walsh wi …
I just saw Louis Walsh with some Muslim twins with really tall quiffs. I think they were Jihadwood.
Continue ReadingMy wife just found a webs …
My wife just found a website about the origins of the World Wide Web, detailing how it was started all those years ago. Now she wont speak to me. I knew the Internet History would get me in trouble eventually
Continue ReadingMy mate went up to this b …
My mate went up to this bird in the club last week. “Excuse me gorgeous, I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?” He said with a cheeky little wink The girls smiled at him, then giggled followed by her giving him her number. Using this same method I thought I would […]
Continue ReadingI’m not sure if I have a …
I’m not sure if I have a low IQ or am just really bad at reading the score.
Continue ReadingIf I was a superhero, I’d …
If I was a superhero, I’d be Aluminum Man. My superpower would be foiling crime.
Continue ReadingA big black man stopped m …
A big black man stopped me in the street and got me to empty my pockets. … afterwards he said, “Sorry about that Sir, its just you fitted the description of the suspect perfectly”. I said, “That’s alright officer”.
Continue ReadingThese new stalker laws ar …
These new stalker laws are so complicated. I just can’t follow them.
Continue ReadingI was recently arrested f …
I was recently arrested for child molestation apparently ‘Santa sneaks into small children’s rooms too’ isn’t a valid excuse. Strange that.
Continue ReadingMummy, Mummy! Are you sur …
Mummy, Mummy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men? Shut up and get back in the oven.
Continue ReadingMy brother has just been …
My brother has just been admitted to hospital after eating an entire CCTV camera. He’s being closely monitored.
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