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I see Terry Jones has become a dad at the age of 67. Good to see the old Python is still active.

People laugh at me for buying my clothes from the local Market… Where else can you get genuine ‘Lecost’ trainers for under 20?

I hear the new Ferrari 599 GTO can do 0-60mph in 3.35 seconds flat. I’d love to see what it’s capable of when the tyres are pumped up.

Finally managed a slam-dunk today. Tea everywhere.

Sky News: March in memory of stabbed Scottish teen. “What’s wrong with February the month he died in?”

Everywhere I look people are going on about this Messi hat-trick. For a minute I thought Dawn French had suffered a 3rd miscarriage.

I said to this rastafarian today, “can you tell me an Arabic country in the middle east currently experiencing political unrest”? He said, “yeah man”.

Just saw a French hooker penetrate through the back. They are a great rugby team though.