My wife is a bit like my …
My wife is a bit like my Facebook profile, Lots of fun to begin with, checking it out all the time, Now it’s lucky to get 5 minutes attention a day, and it’s been poked by most of my friends.
Continue ReadingI know where specialist f …
I know where specialist food stores keep their flour, by the whey.
Continue ReadingWhen life gives you oil s …
When life gives you oil spills, make Molotovs.
Continue ReadingI often go out with a lis …
I often go out with a list of insults written on my sleeve. I’m never stuck for an off the cuff remark
Continue ReadingJust searched on Google f …
Just searched on Google for ‘anagram’. Results came back – “Did you mean: nag a ram” Watch out Sickipedia, new comedian in town!
Continue ReadingJust got back from my sch …
Just got back from my school reunion. Which was a bit weird, since I was home schooled.
Continue ReadingJust came home to find my …
Just came home to find my flat in a total state. My TV is broken, there is debris lying all over the floor, and my wife has two black eyes and cuts on her face. She’s been playing Gran Turismo again.
Continue ReadingWhen It comes to politics …
When It comes to politics, I lean to the right wing. As opposed to the wrong one.
Continue ReadingI just hit my wife with a …
I just hit my wife with a memory foam pillow. She’ll never forget it!
Continue ReadingThere is a married couple …
There is a married couple of circus Mimes living in the flat above me, so its always nice and quiet Until they get mad and give each other the unsilent treatment.
Continue ReadingI was in the hospital wai …
I was in the hospital waiting area talking to my mate when a security guard approached me. He said, “You can’t use your phone in here.” I said, “Yes I can mate, I’ve got full bars.”
Continue ReadingMy Dad always gets the la …
My Dad always gets the last word. Him and his Countdown Conundrums…
Continue ReadingThe Michelin man – a cons …
The Michelin man – a constant symbol in over 150 countries for over 116 years .. Sometime or other, he must have been tyred.
Continue ReadingI always get criticised f …
I always get criticised for using expressions which are completely out of context. But then again, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Continue ReadingWhat do you get if you cr …
What do you get if you cross the Equator with a hot air balloon? Further south.
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