My first joke on here was …
My first joke on here was like my first girlfriend… They were boring, annoying and it lasted about 10 minutes before they both got buried.
Continue ReadingFingerprints? I like his …
Fingerprints? I like his music, but i wouldn’t go that far!
Continue ReadingWriting hieroglyphics isn …
Writing hieroglyphics isn’t all that difficult. You just have to know where the eye goes after the sea.
Continue ReadingWhy cant the human race t …
Why cant the human race think sitting down ? It stands to reason.
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “What will …
My wife said, “What will I tell my boss for not going to work, I can’t just say it’s because I was cooking a roast all day.” “How about Diarrhoea?” I said. “No way!” she laughed. “Okay,” I replied, “but if a girl phoned me saying she was cooking diarrhoea, I would think she needed […]
Continue ReadingYesterday at work, I told …
Yesterday at work, I told some paedo jokes from this site. Today, I’m not a paediatrician anymore.
Continue ReadingIt doesn’t matter what ir …
It doesn’t matter what irrelevant means
Continue ReadingI hit my nephew yesterday …
I hit my nephew yesterday…. My sister was absolutely hysterical.. but then I was in an Audi and he was playing in the driveway…..
Continue ReadingOur Brazilian housekeeper …
Our Brazilian housekeeper is rubbish at making the beds. She’s very tidy downstairs though.
Continue ReadingI used to know an ice cre …
I used to know an ice cream man But he melted
Continue ReadingWent to the chip shop las …
Went to the chip shop last night, the guy asked me if I wanted large or small chips. I said I’d have some of each.
Continue ReadingWhenever I go sailing I a …
Whenever I go sailing I always take my inflatable pink and gold sparkly feather boa in case I fall overboard. it’s my flambuoyancy aid.
Continue ReadingI work so hard to be lazy …
I work so hard to be lazy.
Continue ReadingMy new girlfriend is like …
My new girlfriend is like dubstep, young, makes a lot of weird noises, and you may find her hard to get into, but when you do its so dirty.
Continue ReadingThe disabled area in a th …
The disabled area in a theatre should be called ‘The Cabage Patch’
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