Clairvoyants meeting canc …
Clairvoyants meeting cancelled due to unforeseen events.
Continue ReadingYou`ve got teeth like a w …
You`ve got teeth like a witch doctors necklace.
Continue ReadingI came home the other day …
I came home the other day and found my son smoking in the house. His funeral is on Monday
Continue ReadingI was out clubbing when 2 …
I was out clubbing when 2 girls approached. “Do you fancy menage a trois?” they said seductively. “No sorry,” I said, “I’ve never met the girl.”
Continue ReadingI’ve been meeting up with …
I’ve been meeting up with an old Time Travelling colleague of mine, but now it’s just getting boring. All he want’s to do is reminisce about the future
Continue ReadingThe other day I saw a sig …
The other day I saw a sign: “For Sale – Battery Powered Dynamos – 99p” I’ll be honest, I thought it was a wind up.
Continue ReadingStop Stop Stop Stop Stop …
Stop Stop Stop Stop Stop Spammer Time!
Continue ReadingThe wife was hinting that …
The wife was hinting that she’d like something that rumbles between her legs. Can’t wait to surprise her with the new motorcycle I bought her!
Continue ReadingDaniel Petric shot both h …
Daniel Petric shot both his parents in the head after they took away his copy of Halo 3. Double Kill!
Continue ReadingPeople said I had it wron …
People said I had it wrong when I said i’d completed the half marathon in 6 minutes. Turns out I was wrong, It’s not called a half apparently, it’s called fun-size. And they’ve been calling them snickers for years now.
Continue Reading“I am what I am” is a poo …
“I am what I am” is a poor choice of song for the Lambrini advert as 90% of the people that drink it are chav girls that neck a bottle of it before getting fingered against a biffa bin.
Continue ReadingGillete: The best a klan …
Gillete: The best a klan can get.
Continue ReadingBosnakeots; There’s a sna …
Bosnakeots; There’s a snake in my boots!
Continue ReadingJust heard on a film trai …
Just heard on a film trailer – “It’s not over till it’s over.” Yeah, that’s how it generally works…
Continue ReadingI was approached by a Ras …
I was approached by a Rasta in town today who asked me if I believed in the almighty power of Jah. I told him what I always tell the wife. Push down firm and twist the lid hard.
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